Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
