That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This beer is not sobering me up at all
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
