While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize