So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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