I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm really busy with my period
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