Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i now understand why vodka
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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