So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize