no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
