I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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