maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
