Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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