did you get engaged???
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize