But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
