Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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