He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
