Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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