It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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