You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
