You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
