I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
