I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
