my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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