so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
