No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
