Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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