My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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