remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
