Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
