totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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