I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
