Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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