Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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