Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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