So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
home. puking in laundry basket.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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