Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
