Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
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