Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
