:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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