Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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