I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
