Don't make out with my wife yet
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I have post one night stand depression
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
