And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
