How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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