He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
