So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
