Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
