): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
