you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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