i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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