just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
