there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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