Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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