went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
They are going to name an STD after you.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
