did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
