i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
