sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ladies don't puke and tell
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
