Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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