Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.

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(954): View more from Florida

you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.

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(703): View more from Virginia

apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies

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(517): View more from Michigan

I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...

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(601): View more from Mississippi

After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?

(1-248): View more from Michigan

I don't know what to say

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.

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