chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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