Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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