I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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