I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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