Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
