farters have to be the big spoon...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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