don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
